“ …I
desire to depart …” (Php 1:23, NIV)
Have
you ever just wanted to die? I am not talking about being suicidal here, so
don’t freak on me. I’m just talking about life getting tough enough that you
are ready to go on. I have even had a one sided conversation with God about it.
“That’s
it Lord! I’m outta here! You might as
well just take me on.”
Now
I haven’t ever made plans about making it happen, or daydreamed about it, but I
have been frustrated enough to just be ready to go on to heaven. I have also
talked to enough people to know I am not alone. There are others who have
arrived at this point a time or two in their lives. You may be one of those
people, so I want to share my take on this with you.
First
let’s look at Philippians 1:21-24 in the NIV Bible:
(21)For to me, to
live is Christ and to die is gain. (22)If I am to go on living in the body,
this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know!
(23)I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is
better by far; (24)but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
Even
Paul was torn between the desire to live and the desire to go. In verse 23 in
the NLT Bible, Paul writes: “I'm torn between two desires: Sometimes I want to
live, and sometimes I long to go and be with Christ.” One of the difference between
Paul and us is the reason for it.
Paul
didn’t want to die to escape this life or hardships, he was so in love with
Jesus that he just wanted to be with Him. Paul was also aware that to live on
in this life would be beneficial to others, while to go would be beneficial to
himself.
He
wrote in the end of verse 23 , of dying, and in verse 24, of living,: “That would be far better for me, but it
is better for you that I live.”
We
need to remember in tough times that it is not about us. Also our lives have
the potential to bring benefit to others. I have always thought it would be a
sign of maturity to want to die because of love for and the desire to be with
Christ instead of wanting to die to escape circumstances. The desire to escape
is selfish, but it is ok to look forward to living in Christ’s presence
forever.
